Many things have been said about Al Gore, except the obvious.

Gore is looking more and more like Dracula. The transformation will be complete when he dons a velvet smoking jacket and adds a silver streak to his hair. Clearly, he is planning to have another run at President and is trying to create a new, harder, image. Save the glaciers? Sure. They’re a long way away and don’t contain haemoglobin. But illegal immigrants shall be treated as Vlad the Impaler treated his peasants: good only for backbreaking labour and their rich, dark blood. At first I was skeptical. I thought, why would anyone vote for the undead, the scourge of innocence, the rancid, coffin-snoozing aristocrat? But think about it. The US has elected in succession: a cowboy, a deputy sheriff, a satyr, and a zombie*. Is a vampire really out of the question?

* not the George Romero, brain-eating-corpse zombie but the traditional Haitian zombie sapped of all mentation and controlled by shadowy masters.