After decades of suffering under a regime of poorly dubbed re-edits, bad prints and TV-oriented pan-and-scan claustrophobia, Toho Studio’s classic daikaiju eiga are finally being released to DVD in the West in properly tidied-up original formats — sweeping Tohoscope and with vibrant colours, clear sound and decent subtitles. Suddenly all those narky mainstream critics who dismissed them with a few snide quips seem somewhat less credible. True, many of the films are definitely not great films by any stretch of the imagination, but even the worst of them (those suffering from the mid-70s cash-strapped blues, for example) no longer look like cheapies produced by amateurs.

A recent release relevant to us at the Talking Squid is Space Amoeba (aka Yog, the Monster from Space). It features this famously cheesy creation: Gezora, a giant space-amoeba-enhanced cuttlefish/squid. Sooner or later Gezora had to turn up here to introduce himself; though he doesn’t actually talk in the film, the invading space amoeba itself does.

For a panoramic screenshot that shows just how big Gezora is, plus some evaluative comments, check out my review here.

Just recently I was lucky enough to secure an interview with Gezora himself, some 36 years after Gezora, Ganime, Kameba: Kessen! Nankai no daikaijû was released in Japan. Despite fire scars still visible on his outer skin — a legacy of the film’s climactic moments — and showing some sign of having spent the last few decades in a fairly sedentary state on the ocean floor, the gigantic squid was cheerful and eager to talk. By the time we’d finished, the cafe where we met was empty of other customers — actually most of them had run away the moment Gezora had smashed his way through the undersized doors.

RH: Thanks for seeing me. I appreciate that this is the first interview you’ve given for many years.

G: I’d like to say it’s a pleasure, but frankly being out of the water’s pretty lousy these days. Full gravity’s a bummer when you’re my age.

RH: So why have you agreed to see me?

G: Pure self-interest. With that damn radioactive reptile out of the scene now, I’m hoping I can score some film work at last. This Talking Squid site seemed a good place to start gettin’ some profile back.

RH: You’re not a fan of Godzilla?

G: He’s an overhyped self-centred slob — you see that gut he had in Kaneko’s film? That was the real Godzilla: fat, bad-tempered and ill-mannered. All that fire-breathing and city-stomping — he reckoned he was so hot. They wouldn’t let me trash a city, you know? I really really wanted to. They said I was too spineless and should stick to tropical islands and grass huts.

RH: Did you enjoy working with Ishiro Honda?

G: He was terrific. A real gentleman. Apologised when he had to set me on fire. What can I say? It’s just show business. Couldn’t work with those other two kaiju though –

RH: Ganime the Crab and Kameba the Turtle?

G: That’s them. All that crab could do was snap his claws together like an arthritic castanet dancer. And as for Kameba — what on earth did he have going for him? Could pull his head in and out. Big deal! Of the three of us, he was the only one they brought back [in Godzilla, Mothra, Mechagodzilla: Tokyo SOS]… and he only appeared as a half-chewed corpse. That tells you something — I call it playing to one’s strengths.

He laughed. It sounded like a damp sponge being squeezed.

RH: What about Yog?

G: Yog? There’s no Yog! That’s just some obscure American slang, stuck onto the movie as a joke. Had to be! Probably an obscenity! And the Space Amoeba was just fairylights and tinsel. I had to actually act like I was possessed. Pretty good at it, too, wasn’t I? OK, maybe making my eyes wobble like they did wasn’t very effective. Got a lot of criticism over that. Now I think of it, I reckon Godzilla was the bastard who suggested I do it!

RH: Have you had any work at all between then and now?

G: Not a lot around for a squid. I auditioned for the lead in Jaws and might’ve got it, too, but Spielberg decided they’d have to change the title and Benchley wouldn’t go for it.

RH: Nothing else?

G: Been in a few cheap flicks like that Octopus thing and its sequels, but only as a tentacle stand-in. Insulting work for someone with my talent. Gotta live, though, right? I keep putting out feelers.

RH: So, has there been any nibbles?

A cagey look came over his eyes.

G: Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve been involved in secret meetings about a remake of Disney’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. It’s definitely on the cards!

RH: And you’d be the giant squid. Great!

G: Giant squid? Bugger off! This is Hollywood. I’m playing Nemo!