In today’s newspaper, a short letter contains what may well be the best mixed metaphor I have ever come across.

…[A]n additional reason for Labor’s sinking ship is the overweight trade union dinosaur welded to its hull. [The Australian, Friday May 19, 2006, page 15]

Thank you for that, E. J. Ash of Brisbane, Qld. For sheer visual impact, it’s hard to beat. I invite others to contribute their favourite examples in the comments. One rule: the metaphor must be genuine. That is, it should be a real piece of writing or speech rather than a parody or a deliberately mixed metaphor for comic purpose, and it should be referenced where possible. I am tempted to exclude Bushisms on the principle that it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. But what the heck. Sometimes fish in a barrel need shooting.

Title explanation for non-Australians and Australians of another vintage: When I was growing up in Melbourne, we children used to save up our 10 cent pieces and after school we would head to the local milk bar for a “bag of mixed lollies.” The milk bar had already made up bags in certain sizes, arranged by cost, and placed tempting rows of the little white paper bags in the display counter. The bags were tied at the top by a loop of coloured string and had been made up by the milk bar owners themselves every morning with an assortment of jelly beans, jelly babies, jaffas, honeycomb chocolates and whatever else was at hand. Twenty cent bags were the best, but you rarely had that sort of cash in pocket. In case you were wondering, I am talking about a time when I was shocked to see petrol at 20c/litre and you could buy lunch and a drink at the milk bar for less than 50 cents.