Here’s a contender for scientific paper of the year: When zombies attack!: Mathematical modelling of an outbreak of zombie infection (PDF) by a trio of imaginative Canadian scientists and one goth in denial.

One has to appreciate a paper that includes references like, “[8] Pegg, Simon (writer, creator, actor), 2002 Shaun of the Dead,” and includes all the graphs, epidemiological equations, and algorithms necessary to run your own simulations. And the conclusion?

An outbreak of zombies infecting humans is likely to be disastrous, unless extremely aggressive tactics are employed against the undead. While aggressive quarantine may eradicate the infection, this is unlikely to happen in practice. A cure would only result in some humans surviving the outbreak, although they will still coexist with zombies. Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time.

So the movies get it right. If there’s a zombie outbreak, our only chance of survival would be a rapid, intelligent, co-ordinated, sustained response from governments around the world. (Trans.: we’re doomed!)

Tags: epidemiology, ioan hudea, joe imad, modelling, philip munz, when zombies attack!